The Boybutante Divas . . . and Their Stories
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Anastasia Armani Unlike so many others in show biz, there’s not a mean bone in Ms. “Ana” Armani’s stage-acclimatized body. A tireless champion of numerous causes, she is also the CEO of her start-up venture “Ho-Made Pompons,” which has become the number one choice for suppliers of rural cheerleading camps throughout the Southeast. These popular chicken-feather creations have saved several local family poultry farms from bankruptcy–the lovely result of Ana’s special feel for capitalism and social responsibility. Managing to find plenty of time for an active social life, Ana can turn any hour into Happy Hour. In fact, three of her last four escorts checked into rehab the morning after. “I’m the rock bottom Oglethorpe county men most want to hit,” Ana says. “It feels good to make a difference.” |
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Mighty Afro-Whitey A stunt model/choreographer for Pam Grier in the early ’70s, Mighty Afro-Whitey’s career faltered after a tragic steroid mishap. While plotting a comeback, she sold Sarah Coventry jewelry and auto repairs door-to-door. She soon abandoned this line of work, being “wore out” with having to buy new shoes every time she changed a clutch. With a “butts-and-biceps” type of beauty, her lip-pursing and come-hither strut made her a shoo-in for the Boybutante Stage. Mighty’s recent purchase of the now-defunct Kenny Rogers Roasters–she plans to reorganize the chain as “Mighty’s Frontisserie and Biscuits”–was made possible by the success of Ghettoe Glamour, her inner-city pedicure boutique. Mighty is an inspiration to big-boned, full-figured gals everywhere, and as promised, has never relaxed. |
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Christina Bombay People say that the lovely Christina Bombay likes it shaken and stirred, and they’re right. Her bi-weekly deliveries from the local liquor distributor have been known to cause quite a buzz among her Boybutante pals, but nothing is quite so shocking to some and pleasing to others as the constant parade of “bartenders” arriving in Speedos for her oh-so-private gin-soaked parties! Whether she’s neat or on-the-rocks, you can be sure that Christina is always top shelf. |
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André Champale Since his sparkling debut at Boybutante 12 “She Haw,” André has become Boybutante’s favorite drag king, performing to audiences that shriek themselves hoarse. Crowned Miss Bogart in 2000, he was initially disqualified for using real fish in his codpiece, but later reinstated after the “freshness seal” was authenticated and tartar sauce produced. “I never eat out without bringing my own condiments,” states André. |
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Chi Chi Crowned Miss Bogart of 1997, Chi Chi immortalized her stage presence that year by temporarily blinding Kate Pierson with the contents of a fifth of José Cuervo Gold. But when the chips are down, we can always count on this sultry señorita to provide the salsa, or at least the jar it came in. |
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Kitty Crack Miss Bogart’s first and pre-Boyball designee was none other than Miss Kitty Crack. This vivacious entrepreneuse–she created the entire line of “Hello Kitty” school accessorites, as well as “Kitty Please” cat litter– has been on tour performing material from her latest album, “Don’t Feel Like You Got to Stay the Night.” Kitty has often been credited with single-handedly bringing the baby-doll nightie to evening dress. Now in session recordinng her cover of Connie Francis’s “Who’s Sorry Now?” and the crossover hit “When Kabuki Makeup Gets in Your Eyes,” this trendsetter diva is a star wherever one is lacking. |
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Mz. Daisy This community-minded society doyenne was driven to more than bridge and drink. President of the Sodom Ladies’ Auxiliary and hostess extraordinaire of the Gomorrah Garden Club, Mz. Daisy was among the initial founders and organizers of the Boybutante Ball. However, her success with spray-painted tractor tire gardens ended her formal association with the Ball. Now living in Florida with her thriving business, she’s a social butterfly who’s never to bushed or busy to care. |
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Jetta Fahrvergnügen Miss Bogart of 1993, Jetta is more Southern than her name implies. Hailing from Gainesville, Ga., she urges caution in assigning any meaning, figurative or otherwise, to her last name, which is German for “driving pleasure.” Many consider her the originator of the phrase “Deviled Eggs Are the Perfect Addition to Any Covered-Dish Function,” though Jetta herself prefers the not-so-rhetorical “Who says you can’t knit your own window treatments?” |
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Verandah Foyer Miss Bogart of 1995 is one fine lady as well as one tall drink of water. Voted the “prettiest gal you could never hate” in 1997, Verandah Foyer–pronounced “fwah-yay“–and her sister Cherilyn stunned audiences with their Country & Western duet in that year’s Boyball show. Verandah has an ethereal beauty, which, it’s safe to say, is difficult to pin down. Many a youth has been stuck on her, but none has been able to successfully take her through airport security. Looking pensively into the setting sun and sipping a Mint Julep, Verandah muses, “If only my being easy was as pretty as it is easy for me to be pretty.” |
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Ella Gant Wild Cherry Sucret remembers counseling Ella Gant on the Suicide Drag Hotline many years ago. “She was slipping away,” says W.C. wistfully, “until I offered her the support she so desperately needed–control-top and otherwise.” Ella’s come a long way from those days and in the past five years her talent and beauty have increased in equal measure. “If you’re out to Google me,” says Ella, showing off her haute-tech knowledge, “the key words are discipline and perfection.” Ever since her patented Duct-Tape Boob Job was approved by the AMA and Miss Girl’s House of Hair Day Spa, her popularity with the media and the masses has caused her to require that each member of her entourage has an entourage of his/her own. Regretfully, Ella had to have one of her assistants “put down.” “She bought a color of toe-nail polish at least two shades too dark,” explains Ella. “Neither of us could live with the disappointment.” |
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Chicken Kisses A graduate of the Japanese Film Institute of Lip Sync, the former “Miss Cathy” was gunned down in front of the 40-Watt Club in 1992 by an estranged lover. Her immediate reincarnation as Chicken Kisses did nothing in terms off familiarizing her with the words to the song she performed that year, the Carpenters’ “On Top of the World.” |
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Lacie Lacie is the perfect example of what can happen when Rock and Strippers collide. Though she’s done more than her share of head banging, she’s still got lots going on up there. She is the MacGuyver of Undergarments, able to construct panties from any house hold object: tinsel, type writer ribbons, even wads of belly button lint or chicken feathers. Voted the queen most like to inspire the phrase “Where did it go?,” Lacie gave the audience at Boyball 15 a peek at momma’s secret weapon. And still, her popularity grows. Proof that If the package is offered generously, nobody minds when the wrapping comes off. |
